Backseat Driver
by Jamie1317kast
Summary: I’ve done it, you’ve done it, we all do it at some point. At some point in our American lives, we all take the horrible, and evil class known only as… Drivers Ed.
1. Chapter 1

Backseat Driver

By, Jamie1317kast

I've done it, you've done it, we all do it at some point. At some point in our American lives, we all take the horrible, and evil class known only as… Drivers Ed.

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is copyrighted to Natsuki Takaya, not me.

AN including the one and only Madabuchi Trio! Witness the horror and the laughs as Ha'ri, 'Gure, and Aya strive to achieve their driver's licenses.

Rated R just because 'Gure and Aya are in the same fic together.

First Gear:

It was a nice, sunny day. Perfect for young lovers to get out and enjoy themselves by annoying their chaperones. And, speaking of a certain pair of devils, here they come now…

" Oh, 'Gure-san, isn't it the most wonderful day?" Aya cheerfully exclaimed, permanently attaching himself onto Shigure's arm.

" Any day is wonderful if you're by my side, Aya." Shigure glanced over to Ayame, his brown eyes full of mischief.

The two of them took their opposite arms and gave each other the thumbs up. " Yes!" Smiling cheerfully, oblivious, as usual, to Hatori's cold glare.

" Come on, you two. We don't want to be late." Hatori walked past his foolish cousins, hoping that they would have the common sense to follow him.

The clear spring air wafted a gentle breeze across the boy's foreheads, cooling them on their walk from Sohma House to the private teaching school. It had all been Shigure's idea, hopefully one of his better ones. Hatori had already decided to be one of the few Japanese to receive his driver's license, and Shigure had suggested that as long as Ha'ri was getting his; he and Aya might as well get theirs.

So here they were, standing before a rather small building on the edge of town. Since less than half of the Japanese population actually owned or drove cars of any kind, the practice wasn't tied to their school curriculum. Which meant, of course, that the boys would have to attend a private class.

The bumpy parking lot was littered with orange cones and painted lines. Random pot holes were scattered along the pavement at inconvenient turns and cardboard replicas of people, walls, and stoplights were strewn throughout the lot.

The building itself looked no larger than the size of a regular classroom. The paint on the front sign was old and peeling, swaying and squeaking in the sudden harsh wind. A couple of the windows had bullet holes in the glass panes, and Shigure could swear he saw a random tumbleweed bounce by.

Oddly quieted by the sight before them, the now nervous trio advanced warily across the sandy parking lot. That simple journey seemed to take forever, as if they were staggering towards the last human outpost in the American desert, rather than walking a few brisk yards across an abandoned lot. When they finally reached the door, all three boys collapsed upon it at once, falling through the threshold into one giant heap.

" Shigure." Hatori gasped from somewhere within the pile, " I do believe that your butt is in my face." Shigure pouted, and wiggled his hips. His teasing was rewarded by a slap on the ass.

" Ow!" He yelped, falling to the side and wriggling out of the heap of bodies and tangled limbs. " Ha-san, that hurt." He complained, rubbing his ass as though it had sustained serious damage.

" It wouldn't hurt if you didn't tease me." Hatori replied coldly, disentangling himself from Aya. Shigure and Aya both pouted, then, exchanged a look of mischievous daring behind Hatori's back. Winking back to his partner in crime, Aya stood to brush himself off.

" But life's no fun if we don't tease you, Tori-san." Ayame took care not to let Hatori noticed that Shigure was sneaking up behind their unsuspecting cousin. Hatori turned his full attention to Aya, ready to make a comeback when an odd sensation caused him to stop, words falling dead at his lips.

Shigure had succeeded in sneaking up behind his taller cousin, and, wrapped his arms around Hatori. Trailing finger-light touches along Hatori's stomach and chest, Shigure whispered softly into Hatori's ear. He was completely aware that, not only was Hatori shaking, he was aroused as well.

" You like it when we tease you, Ha'ri." His breath puffing far too close to Hatori's ear for comfort. " I know you do, there's no denying the truth." And, leaning in even closer, his fingers now tracing patterns on Hatori's chest, Aya's hands holding his hips still, Shigure gently nipped the Dragon's ear. Hatori shivered involuntarily, Shigure and Ayame grinning wolfishly to each other from cheek to cheek.

Stepping back from Hatori, the boys surveyed the room into which they had fallen. There was a small receptionists' desk off to their right, complete with a computer, office phone, and littered with official-looking papers. A brass plaque proclaimed the name of the owner of the desk.

" Li, Ryoko." Shigure breathed softly, taking in the woman's name. Ignoring Hatori's warning of other people's personal space, Shigure stalked over behind the desk, sitting himself comfortably in the plush, swivel chair. Pivoting himself back and forth on the chair, Shigure observed that the front office resembled a dentists' waiting room, including magazines on a small, wooden table. The trio was alone, there was not another soul in sight.

Shigure took this advantage to search through the drawers on the desk. His eyes surveying the discarded papers and pictures. Fingers lingering over a particular photo that happened to catch his eye. On impulse, Shigure picked it up.

" Put it down. Do you want to get caught?" Hatori unsuccessfully glared at Shigure, attempting to guilt-trip him into releasing property that didn't belong to him. The Dragon's patience dropped another notch when his idiot cousin raised up his feet to settle them on the desk's hard surface.

" I'm fine right where I am, Ha'ri." Shigure's normally playful eyes were glimmering with challenge, and he locked onto Hatori's eyes with a daring stare. There were times such as this, when Shigure challenged Hatori's authority as the leader of their small pack. Times, when Shigure was completely serious, and dared Hatori to usurp him.

Hatori, he was no Dog and he had no such instincts, bit his lip to silence himself. Shigure, pleased that he had gotten what he wanted, turned back to contemplating the photo. It was a wedding picture, and Shigure took to looking it over with interest. The man wore a simple black suit, his long black hair was tied back into a ponytail much like Kazuma's. On the man's pale face, his dull green eyes seemed to shine out from beneath his hair. Looking closer, Shigure turned his attention to the woman in the photo. Her red eyes sparkled against her tan skin, and her shoulder-length black hair hung down, unadorned.

Glancing around quickly, Shigure made Hatori was distracted as he shoved the picture into his breast pocket. He was sure he had seen that man before, but he wasn't sure where.

A sound caught his attention a moment too late, and a gentle pair of hands had been placed on his shoulders. " Would you mind giving me back my seat?" Turning, Shigure was met with a woman's breasts.

Forcing himself to tear his gaze away from them, he looked up into a woman's tan face. She had short blue hair, with two long blue braids that hung down into Shigure's lap. What was most startling about her Asian physical appearance, were her bright blue eyes.

Unaware that he was even moving, Shigure surrendered the chair. Hatori took this opportunity to pull Shigure back out from behind the desk, and to apologize for his idiot cousin. Shigure didn't even hear him.

" Non, non. It's quite alright." She replied laughing, her chest bouncing with each intake of breath. All three boys were instantly hypnotized. " So, who has your papers? Ah, it must be this handsome young man with the responsible looking face." She indicated a blushing Hatori, who handed over their registration forms.

" Good, good." She mused, looking over the papers. " So you're all Sohma, huh?" All Shigure could do in response was nod.

" Well, we'll start class right away, then. We won't actually be driving today, I'm afraid." Two sighs of disappointment. " You've gotta learn the rules of the road first." She grinned.

Ryoko, for that was indeed her name, led the trio into a small classroom. The chalkboard held a diagram or too and several notes. Ayame simply read the notes, Hatori scribbled them down, and Shigure daydreamed.

" Shigure, Shigure." Hatori's voice woke him. Shigure blinked, looking around the small classroom.

" Wha-?" He started to say. Hatori cut him off.

" It's time to head home. Let's go." Shigure sat up, he'd daydreamed away the entire class. " Don't we get to drive? Where'd our Sensei go? How long was I asleep?" Sighing, and helping Shigure out of his seat, Hatori managed to answer every question. " Not today. She's out front. The whole class, you can copy my notes."

Thanking Hatori, Shigure made his way to the front lobby, suddenly painfully aware of the picture he had stolen. He couldn't put it back now, then Ryoko would know that he'd stolen it in the first place.

She waved goodbye to them, cheerfully, her breasts bouncing as she did so. Once again, Shigure was captivated.

Aya turned to him once they were well on their way back to the main house, " We go back next Saturday, 'Gure-san. Isn't it grand? I learned a lot today, what did you learn, 'Gure-san?"

Shigure struggled for an answer, the truth was embarrassing. " Let me guess," Hatori began, " you spent half the class trying to look up her skirt, then, when that couldn't be accomplished, you fell asleep and stuck her into one of your porn fantasies." Shigure face faulted.

" Oh come on Ha'ri!" Shigure gathered his composure. " Don't tell me you weren't staring at her breasts."

Blushing furiously, Hatori turned away from his perverted cousin. " Of course I wasn't…" he began, walking faster to get away from his constant tormentors. They followed close behind him, of course, teasing Hatori into a raging blush. Shigure knew for sure that he was going to enjoy taking Drivers Ed.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Backseat Driver

By, Jamie1317kast

Their first couple classes out of the way, the Madabuchi trio looks forward to enjoying their first time on the road. But what's this? Their usual Sensei is sick, and their new substitute is more than willing to whip slackers like Shigure into shape.

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is copyrighted to Natsuki Takaya, not me. Ryoko belongs to me, and Midnight belongs to Kirenia.

Rated R just because 'Gure and Aya are in the same fic together.

Second Gear:

Spring was now well under way, with sakura blossoms and lilac bushes emphasizing that fact. It seemed like every single flower in existence was in bloom, which meant, pollen.

Which meant… allergies.

" Achoo!"

Shigure looked over his Driver's Ed homework at Hatori, who had sneezed.

" Don't tell me you're allergic to spring?"

Hatori unsuccessfully glared at his cousin. " I'm nob allergic to sprig." He managed to say.

Aya looked up from copying off of Hatori's paper. " Sprig?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

" Isn't thab what I sid?"

Shigure and Ayame burst out laughing. " Oh-oh God, Ha'ri! P-puh-please, don't say anything else! Y-you're killin' us!"

" Whabs wrong wib the vay I talk?"

Hatori's attempts to silence his cousins verbally only earned him more ear-splitting laughter. So he simply settled for glaring at them instead. The boys sat up, wiping tears from their eyes.

" So, 'Gure-san, do you think we're going to get to drive tomorrow?" Ayame leaned back, tossing his hair over his shoulder.

" We might, Aya, we just might."

Ayame turned now to Hatori. " Tori-san, will our drivers test be hard? You know, the one at the end?"

Carefully perusing his paper for any mistakes, Hatori turned to consult his handbook. " I bon't tink so. As log as ve study, there shouldn't be any problms. Ayabe, if you laugh at me agin, I vill nock you through te rof."

Shigure had long since gotten used to the old feel of their driving school. He rather liked it, though, the small class size meant that their Sensei could work with each of them individually.

Hatori was, of course, the best in the class. Ryoko joked that he was ready for his test right after day one, and his cousins didn't doubt it.

Ayame was second in the class. Unlike Shigure, he was learning not to stare at Ryoko's breasts, which greatly improved his concentration.

Shigure was dead last. He spent all class staring at Ryoko's breasts bouncing along in front of the chalkboard, and didn't learn a thing. He often stayed late to have everything explained to him, again. But Ryoko never got farther than a sentence or two before Shigure was off in Breast World.

Men.

Of course, taking the time to meet each boy's learning needs didn't necessarily mean that they were all passing.

Shigure was failing. In fact, he was counting on it. To stay behind with a hot sensei, chances like that didn't come very often, and Shigure Sohma intended to make the most of it.

Dogs.

So, you can imagine that Shigure was the most surprised when he saw that they had a substitute.

I believe the word ' Damn!' was his exact thought.

As the Madabuchi Trio settled into their seats, their substitute looked over their last quiz grades. She slowly lowered the papers and peered at the boys down the bridge of her nose.

" Which one of you is Sohma, Shigure?" She asked, hiding a smile when he dazedly came to attention.

" 'Gure-san, that's you." Ayame whispered back to his cousin who was still staring off into hammer space.

" You." Their new sensei stated, pointing at Shigure. " Explain something to me." She stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. She was really a beautiful woman, with her liquid-red eyes and her long black hair. The name tag-sticky clutching to her chest pronounced that her name was Midnight. Her name echoed her style of clothing. Everything Midnight owned, or wore, was black. She never wore skirts or dresses either; the wind getting up into her knickers was just too much of an odd feeling.

Midnight stalked down the aisles of desks, stopping before Shigure's at the back of the class. Lost in his daydreams, a goofy smile on his face, Shigure didn't even notice the Sensei until she was right in front of him.

And, by then, it was too late.

Bringing a hand down hard on the wood of his desk, Shigure was rudely awakened from his porn fantasy and none too happy.

" What did you do that for?" He yelped, startled.

" To get your attention, kid." Midnight calmly replied.

Shigure attempted to make an accusation, but Midnight cut him off.

" Why, pray tell, aren't you passing this class?"

The question stopped Shigure's words dead on his lips. He couldn't tell her the truth, but if he didn't, she looked like she'd beat it out of him.

" Um…" He choked out, slumping down in his seat with Midnight towering over him. " Um…."

" Ryoko's going out of her way to give you extra help, that she isn't even being paid for, might I add. And you can't even get your head out of the clouds long enough to appreciate that effort? Ugh, men!"

Midnight stalked back to her desk, and shuffled through some random papers. Ayame and Hatori looked back at Shigure who was still coming down from his recent shock. Hatori spoke up.

" Where is Sensei Ryoko-san?" When Midnight glared at him, Hatori glared back, thankful that his allergies had subsided for today. " I'm simply concerned." He stated, and Midnight seemed to relax.

" She's sick." Was the only reply that was given.

Throughout the rest of the class, Midnight relentlessly quizzed Shigure on the information he didn't even know.

' You know,' He thought to himself after a harsh grilling, ' if I didn't know better, I'd say she was enjoying this.'

When Midnight grinned at him, his suspicions where confirmed. ' Yup, she hates me.'

Shigure was so worn out by the end of the day, that Hatori and Ayame had to carry him home. He didn't really mind, he was afraid his feet would abandon him the moment he trusted them to stand.

" Ugh, I'm putting you on a diet, Shigure." Came Hatori's remark from somewhere by his head.

" I'll have to second you on that, Tori-san." Ayame chimed in.

Shigure didn't really care, his brain hurt too much to notice. He knew that he wasn't going to pass at least the written part of the Driver's test, he was too disorganized.

The driving part didn't sound so hard, Ayame and Hatori were driving next Saturday, and the mechanics didn't look too difficult. Shigure just supposed that he would borrow the car that was going to be Ha'ri's and practice with it sometime during the week.

' Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.' He thought as Hatori and Aya settled him into bed.

' A really great idea.'


	3. Chapter 3

Backseat Driver

By, Jamie1317kast

What happens when Shigure misses finals? The last chapter breaks loose.

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is copyrighted to Natsuki Takaya, not me. Ryoko, Takamichi and Rumiko belong to me, and Midnight belongs to Kirenia.

Rated R just because 'Gure and Aya are in the same fic together.

Third Gear:

Rain pounded relentlessly on the roof of the Dog's House, fresh, clear, spring rain. Shigure wasn't tired though; he'd rather run around naked. Sun or rain didn't make any difference to his disposition.

He was laying chest down on his bed, feet randomly weaving around in the air. Face propped up by his hand; his other hand gently turned the pages of a large Sohma photo album. Hair hung into his eyes that he didn't bother to move. Off to the side was the picture he had stolen from Ryoko's desk.

He flipped the pages slowly, perusing each picture and the writing below it. Suddenly, as he was about to turn the page again, he stopped. The snapshot his fingertips rested on was old.

Old around the edges, and creased, the photograph gave off a nearly antique air. In it were three people. The woman on the left had long black hair and black eyes, her wedding kimono did nothing to soften her expression; Ren Sohma. Her husband, the former head of the family, Akira Sohma looked young and sick as Akito looked now. But stranger still, was the man standing next to Akira.

Shigure barely recognized the young man with long black hair and dull green eyes. Picking up the photo he had stolen, he compared the two men. There was no doubt that they were the same person. Shigure's hand shook as he read the names on the back of Akira's wedding picture.

_Sohma, Akira. Head of the Family of Sohma, Kami-sama. _

_Sohma, Ren. Akira-sama's wife._

_Sohma, Takamichi. Akira-sama's brother, Dragon. (Banished, no longer considered part of the family.)_

Practically dropping the album, Shigure scrambled for his bookcase. He extracted a large volume that depicted the lineage of the Sohma and the Zodiac. The book's bloodlines easily went back about a thousand years. Blowing the dust off the cover, he hefted it open. Careful with the older pages, he flipped toward the newer end and the generation before him.

Sure enough, Akira's only brother was listed as Takamichi.

Shigure sat down and mused for awhile, his brows stitched together lightly. By the time he snapped out of his reverie, he was very late for Driver's Ed. Scrambling to get his things and the picture, he ran out the door and into the rain.

Reaching the Driver's school, Shigure found it dark. Running across the parking lot, feet splashing in the gigantic rain puddles. He practically collapsed onto the building's wall, taking deep breaths.

" Damn!" He shouted, punching the wall.

" I've missed it!" Shigure paced back and forth angrily along the front of the building. " How! How could I be so STUPID! Aarrgghh! I am SUCH and IDIOT!" Shigure's anger at himself had been building since that afternoon.

He stomped vehemently, punched the wall, and stomped his feet. The rain continued to pour down, soaking him further and chilling him to the bone. The grey and the fog rolled in thickly, obscuring the far side of the parking lot. He shivered as the wind picked up.

At last lost within his self-rage, Shigure threw down his papers, and trampling them into the mud and pavement. " I HATE THIS! THIS WAS THE DUMBEST IDEA I EVER HAD!"

His anger drowned him, the rain only suffocating him off more. The cold, the anger, the fatigue, and the rain finally registered in Shigure's mind. But before he could collect himself, his feet gave out from under him.

Lying facedown in a rather deep puddle, Shigure did not make a move to get up. ' Maybe I'll die here.' He thought morbidly.

Those were his last thoughts before his consciousness was lost in the dark and the cold. Shigure passed out, the rain pounding down on his back.

" Ayame, if he was going to answer, he would have done so the first time you called." Hatori looked over at Ayame, who was nervously clutching his cell phone to his ear.

" But Tori-san, 'Gure-san didn't come to class. I'm worried about him." Ayame's normally happy face was drawn with concern.

Hatori's face remained passive, but his mind whirled with all the possible and logical reasons that Shigure wasn't answering his home phone. He gently steered his new car through the Main House's central gate.

Both boys had taken their written tests and passed with flying colors and a thumbs up from Midnight Sensei. After that, the second half was behind the wheel.

Hatori had been more than a little nervous as he had gotten into the driver's seat to take his final. Aside from a couple jerky turns, he had done fine. He had passed Driver's Education, and was amazed that Ayame had passed as well.

Ryoko had not re-appeared since Midnight had taken over, and Hatori tried not to let it bother him as much as it had been bothering Shigure. Of course, knowing the Dog, he was probably in a guilty turmoil over something stupid he had done.

" I'm calling Ryoko-sensei." Ayame announced, dialing her number faster than Hatori could protest. " If anyone can find Shigure, it'll be her." And, anxiously, he waited for Ryoko to pick up her phone.

Headlights strained to shine through the rain and fog. A motorcycle ripped into the driving school's parking lot, coming to a skidding halt before Shigure's prone form. Kicking the kickstand out, Midnight tugged at the passenger behind her.

Ryoko's arms were locked tightly around Midnight's waist, refusing to let go. Her head was bent, eyes closed tight in fatigue and pain. Midnight pried Ryoko's fingers apart, and helped her off the bike.

Standing, Ryoko's eyes fluttered open, lashes stuck together with rain. Her gaze fell upon Shigure, and immediately she rushed to his side, turning him over and shaking him.

" Midnight!" She cried out to her friend, fearing the worst.

Midnight leaned down, peering through her helmet. " He'll be fine, just get him inside." Came the muffled reply.

And, struggling with her own fatigue and Shigure's weight, she lifted him. Clutching the teenage boy close to her chest, Ryoko fought with her strength to carry him even as far as the back door.

Midnight unlocked the door and then went back out into the rain to pull her motorcycle into the garage.

Ryoko laid him down onto a couch in the back room. Her arms shook tiredly once she had set him down. And, as she bent to place him on the cushions, their chests met briefly.

_In a brief moment of extreme pain, Shigure's mind sped up, shooting through a weaving timeline gap of nearly ten years. He barely remembered what had happened to him that day in the rain. _

_Midnight had called Hatori, who had come to get him. When he had awakened, the picture had been gone from his breast pocket. He hadn't seen, nor heard from Ryoko or Midnight since._

_He didn't mind so much not getting his license, Ha'ri or Aya could drive him around if he needed it._

_What stung him most, was that Ryoko-sensei hadn't even bothered to call to give him a second chance when he had missed final's day. In a strange, odd way, he had cared a lot for her, and it hurt to 'lose' her. Even though Aya had tried to console him by saying that Midnight and Ryoko were probably both lesbians anyway and she wouldn't have been interested in him, it didn't really help Shigure much at all._

_Shigure tried to re-call the last thing that had happened to him. Then, he remembered._

_A crash. He'd run out into the street, trying to beat the crosswalk light, when a motorcycle hadn't been able to stop in time._

_Gradually, Shigure woke up. _

The first thing Shigure saw when he awoke was Ayame's face. Ayame glommped Shigure the moment he knew he was awake.

" A-Aya?" Shigure asked, not sure what Aya was doing here.

" Oh! ' Gure-san! I thought you had DIED! It was terrible!" Aya said, along with a hundred other things along the same train of thought.

Hatori came into the room wearing his doctor's coat, nodding to Shigure.

A confused Shigure tried to take in his surroundings. He was in the hospital, white sterile walls by his bed.

" Was the driver okay?" He asked Hatori.

" Go see her for yourself if you're so worried." Was the Dragon's reply, and, was that a smile Shigure saw lurking at the corners of Hatori's lips. It was. Shigure half-wondered what was so funny.

So, once Shigure discovered that he still had both his legs, Ayame led him to the next room over. He stopped dead in the doorway; eyes locked onto the woman sitting up in the bed across from him. Aya snickered, Hatori chuckled, and Shigure stood there gaping like a fish out of water.

She turned to him, smiling a mischievous grin. " Ready to try for you license again, Shigure?"

The corners of his mouth twitched upward, then he giggled, then chuckled, and finally, he burst out laughing.

With tears in his eyes he answered Ryoko, " N-not in a m-million years!"


End file.
